Where There’s Blayze

It is amazing how quickly things can change in this world, how quickly God can shift everything you are doing and have you in a completely different place within a few months. Since July I have left my previous job as youth and families worker in Marlborough, begun working for Denby bottles Methodist Church as their new pioneer worker and gotten engaged! I had no idea when this year began that it would look like this by October. With this change in my life comes new challenges and new opportunities, all of which are very exciting. Todays blog will hopefully help illustrate how my life has changed so drastically and what the future ultimately holds (I think).

Youth and families worker

I began this year as a youth and families worker in Marlborough with some exciting plans in place for the year, despite this great level of optimism for the forthcoming year, it was clear that this job was not where I was truly meant to be and that by the time my contract came to a close I would be seeking something different. This is by no means a criticism of the Church I was working for, but rather a realisation that the Church would be better suited with someone different and that my desire to evangelize would be better suited in a new setting. I was the first youth worker that Marlborough Anglican Church have ever had and subsequently there was always going to be an element or trial and error, both on my side and on theirs. Most notably I don’t think that either party truly knew what to expect from such a role. The Church were hoping for someone to come in and help utilize their existing relationships with the youth and schools, whereas I was opting to create new opportunities outside of the Church and in many respects change what the Church was doing internally. Neither approach is without its merits, but due to this lack of clarity both parties were pulling in other directions. I began to seek employment elsewhere pretty early on in the year in the belief that I was no longer right for the appointment and was to be better used elsewhere. It was at this time that the Methodist minister in Marlborough passed an advert to me for a pioneer worker for Denby bottles Methodist Church. She handed it to me and explained that she felt this job was far more suited for me and seemed to be seeking all the things that I wished to bring to a Church. With great excitement I sent an application off to this job that seemed almost too good to be true. Shortly afterwards, and before hearing back from Denby bottles, I was called into a meeting with the Vicar of Marlborough and my line manager. We had a very open and frank discussion of how we believed both parties had made mistakes and how we felt it best to reduce the contract down to a year so that Marlborough Church could re-look at what they needed as a Church and so that I could be free to try something different. This began as a very tense situation, but I am happy to say that we parted as friends and that I am grateful for all that they did for me and as far as I was told, they were grateful for all that I had done as well. This led to a very uneasy part of life for me. I had been told that I would be leaving my job in July and I had no job lined up for the future and therefore nothing to go to. With my parents living in the Falklands, I really did not know where I could possibly go. I was very fortunate that Becky’s sister and my God parents offered to take me in and I feel it only appropriate to mention them as their kind offer meant a great deal to me. I remember praying a lot during this time of uncertainty asking God for help and seeking a more concrete form of security other than simply faith. I felt God clearly remind me to have faith and not to simply rush into any job as an easy solution. All my attention was focussed on this job opportunity at Denby bottles Methodist Church. I went to the interview and could not have been more impressed. The thing that stood out to me is that they were a Church with a vision and a desire to bring God to the people of that community, but more importantly they had a willingness to change. This is something that a great many Church’s lack in my opinion. I left the interview terrified of the possibility that they may reject me for the job. Later on in the day I got a call that was clearly an answer to prayer, they accepted me and wanted me to be their new pioneer worker. I was half moved to tears that in this time of uncertainty, it had all worked out and more importantly, the wheels were in motion before I had even decided to leave my previous job. This was a clear reminder of what is written in Proverbs 3:9, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.” Had I sought to do my own thing, I would currently be a bartender in Liverpool instead of working each day to further Gods kingdom. God is good!

Denby Bottles

It was a very exciting thing to be starting work at this Church and I could not wait to get stuck into all that this area had to offer. I was told by the minister of the Church to use the first month or so to research the local area, become part of the Church and community and simply learn about the history of the Church. I met with as many people as I could from the Church and asked them all much the same question, “how has Denby Methodist Church evolved since you started” and ” what do you believe Gods vision for this Church is?” It was comforting to hear that nearly everyone had a similar vision for the future of the Church. It was also nice to know that the aim of the Church is to seek those outside the Church walls, to evangelise to those who have not yet heard the good news and felt what it is like to ive in relationship with Jesus. I personally feel that this should be the priority of every Church, and yet so many christians seem to forget that the last thing Jesus said to his disciples was, “Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the son and of the Holy spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded to you.” (Matthew 28:19) In addition to the shared vision of the Church, it became clear to me that there  were certain practices within the Church that seemed to have been disbanded for a multitude of reasons that they were eager to bring back. This included annual mission trips, leafleting and attending other events and festivals. Hearing this makes my job very easy as it gives me some clear direction of what I can look at doing, as I can already see the success the Church has had in the past with these activities and I can already see that it is something they would welcome happening again.  It is clear through all the discussions I have had that everyone in there has a deep desire for God, whether they be very early in their faith or a more seasoned christian, that desire is definitely there. I am eager to make sure I do not focus my attentions too much outside of the Church when I think there are things we can introduce within the Church that would help people take the next step in their faith and deepen their walks with God (Including my own). This is a more challenging aspect of my role for me to undertake as I don’t see myself as much of a seasoned man of God. I have been incredibly blessed to gain the experience and teachings that I have since giving my life to Jesus, but I am always very aware of how much further I have to travel on my own journey and how I could be doing more in my relationship with God. Due to this, much of my time in prayer is spent asking for wisdom in how to guide others and help them to grow in faith. I am happy to say that so far I feel God has equipped me for the conversations I have so far had and I continue to seek that help as I move forward. I keep reminding myself of the call of Jeremiah, when he had doubts of his own capability (Jeremiah 1:6-9). Much has already been accomplished within the role in regards to cementing myself as part of the Church and reaching out into the wider community. I have worked very closely with a driven woman of God to set up a space for those with special needs and mental disabilities to come and worship God. We are currently scouting out others with a similar vision and forming a plan for how to make this project grow and reach as many as we are able. I have been welcomed into Kilburn Junior school to do an assembly very soon with the expectation of forming a stronger relationship with the school and the Church. We are in the middle of talks with a dear friend of mine who is going to create a website for the Church and help us to have a modern and unique site that will help our organisation as a Church, but also our outreach capabilities. We are currently putting together a leaflet to send out to the local town and also hand to the local schools and community projects. We are creating links with a local youth drop in to help give the youth a place to go and also offer support in any way we can. Amongst all of this there is the ever important goal of forming relationships with those around us. I have joined a community cafe, preached at local Church’s and been invited to others. I look forward to meeting many others in my time here and sharing my faith with all of them!

My own personal challenges

As I have already mentioned, I feel a great deal of responsibility to help this Church to grow and to also represent Christ to the local area, it is not a job I take lightly. I am also currently questioning my role in a much wider context, For the last five years or so I have felt a very particular calling to ordained ministry within the Church. I have not really questioned this for quite some time, but now after gaining a better  understanding of what is expected of a Methodist minister I am not as sure that it is for me. I have a heart to evangelize to others, to take the Gospel beyond the walls of the Church and to those in the pubs and schools and streets who have no comprehension of who Jesus is. I have a desire to show my faith to those who will mock me, to those who will laugh and swear at me. I want to strengthen the bond between the Church and the wider world, even if that involves creating a ‘Church like space’ where they are at instead of just trying to fill up pews in my own Church. Despite all this, I constantly see ministers who have no choice but to spend their time preaching to Church’s who’s congregation numbers three, and filling paperwork on safeguarding and risk assessments. I don’t want to be someone filling out risk assessment forms for the rest of my life, I want to be someone taking the risks by going out into the world. Now I should clarify that this is narrow view I am giving of someone in ministry, the work they do is incredible and they can do all the things I have a desire to do if in the right context. They are also doing the side of the job that needs to be done and for that I am always grateful for my brothers and sisters who are in ministry. I have just heard many accounts of people saying they had a desire to do something, but their time has been taken up with Church meetings and paperwork. I never want to feel like my ministry and outreach is overshadowed by my need to fill out forms and chair Church meetings. I still have a great desire to go into chaplaincy within the forces at some point in my life (which would require me to be ordained) as that involves going to people in their work and being alongside them through very difficult situations, but whether ministry in the Church in general is something I would be best suited to, I am unsure. I think it takes a very special person to undertake ordination, someone who has the heart to evangelize, preach, perform admin duties and keep the peace, but I do feel God telling me that my gifting is to evangelize and to go outside of the Church walls to share the good news of Jesus Christ. What this means for me in the future I have no idea, but this is something I am certainly praying through at the moment.

Summing up

I am sorry that I have rattled on here, there has just been so much going on and I havent even mentioned my engagement! Future installments in my blog will not be as lengthy now that we are all up to speed, I promise! There are numerous things within this blog that I hope people will hold in prayer and as always I hope this post has shed some light on what God is doing in my life.

God bless.